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What is Dominance and Submission?

The words domination and submission are fairly familiar in our every day language, from a team or player “dominating” a sport, to a resident doctor taking a more “submissive” role to a chief resident while treating a patient.

In the realm of human sexuality and eroticism, dominance and submission are part of the popular fetish subculture of sadomasochism(s/m) and bondage/discipline (b/d). The techniques and styles of incorporating dominance and submission into sexual activity are based solely on the participant’s desires, needs and curiosities. Rules can be steadfast or fluid contingent on what those involved in the sexual exploration crave and want.

Dominance—A Definition

The world of dominance and submission, one that may include s/m (sadomasochism)and b/d (bondage/discipline), is principally based upon trust and communication between the participants. It is also based on a deep philosophy of mutual respect in which exploration of the emotions brought up by power exchange may occur in a safe, sane and consensual manner.

A broad definition of sexual dominance is the act of exerting ones control, a taking of control, or accepting another person’s giving over of control in a sexual and sometimes lifestyle situation. It is a consensual power exchange between two or more participants and need not involve any brutality (such as corporal punishment) or cruelty (verbal or emotional abuse) at all unless the participants consensually agree.

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Forms of Dominance

The degree of dominance in a particular sexual situation is often defined by its intensity. A lighter, less intense form of dominance may be when one partner allows or relinquishes control of the sexual situation to the other partner. A man and wife, for example, usually are pretty fifty-fifty when it comes to initiating the sex or the sex acts performed, with the man often taking the lead at times. In an introductory form of dominance, the man may ask permission to do different things to his partner during their sexual encounter, like asking her if he has permission to lick her pussy, or fingering her clit. Or even asking what she wants him to do to her like ,a href="http://www.bodyworship101.com/what_is_as_worship.php" target="_new">rim her asshole or massage her breasts.

Ready to practice? Have a warm, sudsy bath waiting for your wife when she gets home from that long-ass day at work. When she opens the door, get on your knees, kiss her feet and ask her permission to bathe her. In the tub give your wife the slowest most sensual washing she’s ever had. Let the perfect temperature water cascade down her nipples, clean the curve of her back with the washcloth, letting it cup her ass and teasing by her cunt slit.

When she’s dried off and waiting to get it on in the bed, ask her permission to perform the sex acts you usually do without saying a word; tongue her cunt, cock-pump her pussy, jiggle her tits. Do it all and do it well, but ask permission and wait for it before you start.

Moderate Dominance

Like any sexual scale, even the infamous Kinsey one, there are people that fall across the range of sexual experiences. The fetish arena of domination is no different. Once you’ve been introduced to the less intense forms of dominance and are comfortable with the experience or curious and craving more, new sexy, hot continuing worlds await you. A next level up, a more moderate approach, might include role-playing or a sexual scene, where permissions and sexual techniques are intensified. More sexual flavors are added like cuckolding or edging, where a man may be forced or expected to watch his partner get cock-throttled by another man or where a man is made to stimulate himself over-and-over again without the release of an orgasm.

The Submissive

The person relinquishing control in the aforementioned sexual encounters is considered the submissive. A working definition of a submissive is a person who gives up control in a sexual situation or lifestyle.

The role of the submissive varies with each sexual encounter and with each of the sexual dominants involved. A sub can be a person who sexually performs as instructed or a sub can be the whipping boy of his masterful woman when he has misbehaved.

The consensual submissive role in a dom/sub relationship is as integral a part as the dom role in making the sexual encounter or lifestyle of the consensual partners a success. Communication and trust are key and behind every strong dom is an equally strong sub, or so the sub/dom lore declares.

Subs are there to serve their doms, both in physical gratification and mental spirit. From oral cunt cleaning, to kneel boarding, to foot cleaning, to cock-blocking humiliation a subs power lies in his or her ability to allow, acquiesce and serve.