BDSM Glossary of Terms
Are you new to D/s and/or the world of BDSM? You’ve heard certain words or phrases used in the BDSM context, but aren’t exactly sure what they mean? Below is a list of some of the more commonly used words and phrases as they pertain to D/s or BDSM, in general.
A
Aftercare: refers to the period of time after BDSM or D/s play, during which the participants–especially the submissive–process the intense feelings and emotions triggered during the scene. The dominant should support the submissive by encouraging discussion, coupled with helping to prevent subdrop from occurring.
Animal Play: a BDSM scene where the submissive acts like an animal, such as in puppy play, pony play, etc. Also, Animal Play is sometimes referred to as Animalism.
Ass Play: sexual stimulation of the anus with the tongue, fingers, butt plug, dildo, etc.
B
Ball busting: any kind of pain or discomfort applied to the testicles, such as squeezing, smacking, or binding.
Ball Gag: a rubber ball placed in the mouth. It’s attached to a strap that fits the head, thus holding the ball securely in place.
Bat: a rigid but flexible instrument used for striking, that is usually wrapped with braided leather or cloth. A bat is very similar to a crop, except that it has a shorter shaft and a wider striking tip.
BDSM: acronym for several terms (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism) combined together to form BDSM.
Body Worship: the practice of a submissive adoring and/or idolizing the dominant’s body. For example, foot worship, ass worship, breast worship, etc.
Bondage: involves the act of restraining the submissive using rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or other types of restraints.
Boot Worship: often associated with, but different from, shoe fetishism, the submissive licks, polishes, or kisses the dominant’s boots.
Bottom: term used to identify the submissive in a D/s relationship.
Bottom Drop: sudden feelings of depression and unhappiness that can occasionally occur after an especially intense BDSM scene.
Boundaries: a term used to define acceptable, as well as unacceptable, experiences in a D/s relationship.
Breath Control: refers to the dominant controlling the submissive’s breathing by some method, such as queening.
C
Chastity: a form of orgasm denial that prevents orgasm by limiting or restricting access to the genitals. For instance, using a device known as a chastity cage or a cock cage.
Coerced Bi: the act of a woman coercing a man into sucking another man’s cock or having sex with another man.
Cock and Ball Torture (CB): the sexual practice of intentionally inflicting physical discomfort, as well as the threat of inflicting physical discomfort, to the male genitals.
Collared Submissive: a submissive who is formally committed to and owned by a dominant through a ritual known as a collaring ceremony.
Consent or Consensual: mutual agreement by both the submissive and the dominant of the terms of a BDSM relationship and/or scene.
Contract: a written agreement between the submissive and the dominant. Sometimes referred to as a slave contract, too.
Crossdresser: men who are sexually aroused by wearing women’s clothing.
Cuckold: a man whose wife has sex with other men because of his inadequacies in the bedroom.
Cum Eating: the act of eating one’s own cum.
D -E
Dom or Domme: a term that refers to the dominant person in a D/s relationship.
Dominant: the person who assumes control in a D/s or Dominant/submissive relationship.
Dominatrix: a dominant woman who controls submissive men.
Dungeon: refers to a room that contains BDSM equipment, also known as play space.
Edging or Orgasm Edging: the act of bringing yourself to the very edge of orgasm and stopping just shy of ejaculation.
Enchantrix: an Enchantrix Empire Dominatrix.
Erotic Humiliation: Humiliation that causes sexual arousal in a person.
Erotic Sexual Denial: When a dominant does not allow the submissive an orgasm for a period of time (usually in conjunction with cock teasing and orgasm edging).
F – L
FemDom or FemDomme: a dominant female and/or a type of BDSM play known as Female Domination. Where the female is the dominant and the male is the submissive.
Feminization: the act of making a man more feminine through clothes and other actions.
Fetish: a condition where inanimate object(s) evoke sexual arousal.
Guided Masturbation: the process of one person directing the masturbation session of another.
Hard Limits: term used to refer to certain activities the submissive does not, and will not under any circumstances, consent to.
Impact Play: term used to refer to BDSM activities that involve impact or striking, such as spanking, flogging, cock and ball torture, etc.
Limits: term used to refer to certain activities the submissive does not want to do but, over a period of time, may consent to exploring.
M – P
Masochism: term used to describe the act of receiving pain (either self-inflicted or inflicted by another).
Masochist: term used to describe one who enjoys receiving pain.
Master/slave: another term used to describe a type of D/s relationship where the dominant is the master and the submissive is the slave.
Masturbatrix: a FemDom who uses various cock control methods specifically to control a man’s masturbation habits.
Munch: term used to describe the meeting of a group of BDSM people in a restaurant or some other typically “vanilla” place.
Orgasm Control: term typically referring to the act of a dominant determining when or if a submissive will be allowed to gain orgasmic release.
Pain Slut: term used to describe a person who enjoys pain, erotic or otherwise.
Play Party: term used to refer to a group of people actively participating in BDSM activities at the same location.
ProDom or ProDomme: term specifically used to describe a professional Dominatrix.
S
Sadism: term used to describe the act of inflicting pain on another (or others).
Sadist: term used to describe a person who enjoys inflicting pain on another (or others).
Safe, Sane, and Consensual: a phrase often used to describe responsible BDSM play.
Safeword: a word agreed upon by both the dominant and the submissive prior to D/s play, that when repeated by the submissive during play, removes consent to continue the play scene.
Scene: term used to describe BDSM activity that occurs within a specific time frame (also referred to as BDSM play).
Sensory Play: a D/s activity where the dominant pushes the submissive’s sensory limits through texture, sensory deprivation, impact play, edge play, etc.
Service Oriented Submissive: a term used to describe a submissive whose main focus is serving and pleasing the dominant by doing service oriented tasks, such as cooking, cleaning, etc.
S, cont.
Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS): medical process of changing a person physically, changing a person from one sex to another (also known as a sex change).
Sissy Training: specifically training a feminized male in the ways of being a sissy.
Slave: a term sometimes used to refer to a submissive in a D/s relationship, as in Mistress/slave. Often used, in particular, to refer to a stricter D/s relationship, where the submissive has given total control to the dominant, as in TPE.
SPH or Small Penis Humiliation: the act of humiliating a man due to the size of his inadequate penis.
Soft Limits: term used to describe activities a submissive does not enjoy, but will do, if the dominant so wishes.
Subdrop: refers to a period of time after particularly intense BDSM play where the submissive may become depressed, exhausted, and extremely emotional. Sometimes the submissive will even experience flu-like symptoms when subdrop occurs.
Subspace: refers to the euphoria or trance-like state the submissive experiences as a result of intense BDSM play.
T – V
Tease and Denial: purposely causing sexual arousal in a person through teasing, usually until they are near the point of orgasm, and then not allowing them to actually have the orgasm.
Top: the dominant partner in a D/s relationship.
Topping From the Bottom: when the submissive partner suddenly, and without warning, tries to take control over the dominant partner in a play scene, (usually not well received by the dominant).
Total Power Exchange or TPE: the giving (and receiving) of control over a person’s body for the purpose of sexual arousal (a submissive gives control to the dominant).
Transgendered: term used to describe a person who identifies themselves as a gender other than their physical gender. Further, most commonly used to describe a physical male whose self-identity is female.
Vanilla: term generally used to describe “traditional” sexual behavior.
There you have it, folks- some of the more common BDSM and D/s terms and phrases. Now you can enter the world of dominance and submission with the knowledge of an old pro!