Lifestyle BDSM Versus Fantasy BDSM
So what is the difference between lifestyle BDSM and fantasy BDSM? Well, simply put, people who are lifestyle BDSM partners live 24/7 in their BDSM roles. People that do more of the fantasy BDSM are not always in their chosen roles. Which one is right for you? It’s your choice. Read on for a more in-depth look at both types of this sexy fetish.
Living a Lifestyle Of BDSM
Lifestyle BDSM is just what it sounds like. This is for someone who wants to live the role of a domme or a sub all the time. For example, I know a married couple that has their relationship set up this way. She is his Mistress and he is a slave and a cuckold. She has many different friends, both men and women, who are served, sexually, by her husband.
He is usually in a chastity device, unless she is in a really good mood and he hasn’t been whining at her that day. What’s more, her parties are stuff of legend in our city’s BDSM community. Not to mention, to be invited is a rarity and if you are selected for him to service, it is an honor. I attended one of their parties where they gave us a tour of their house. There were signs of their lifestyle everywhere. Evidently, he ate out of a dog’s food bowl as punishment.
Tower Of London
There were all kinds of rings and things embedded in the walls of the bedroom where he could be restrained. But the most fascinating part of the house was their basement. Now, my idea of the perfect basement is one with a television, a comfy sofa, a gaming system, a portable computer, etc. My friends’ idea of a perfect basement was right out of a 16th Century Tower of London.
To clarify, there were wooden chests filled with face masks and ball gags and other things I couldn’t name lined the walls. There were literally whips and chains all over the room. The two of them called the basement the Room O’ Fun. It was really cool to be able to see everything like that.
I really enjoyed the tour. She did say that there were safe words and also one day a week when he could choose to take a break from slavery, but he rarely used either. He loved his submissive role and never wanted to be out of it.
Fantasy BDSM Phone and In Person
Another way of being a part of the BDSM community is through what’s called fantasy BDSM. Again, for a portion of people interested in this type, it is just that: fantasy. They have a beautiful phone sex Mistress who leads them through a series of erotic BDSM fantasies. She may or may not give them assignments to complete in their real lives. When his call ends, the fantasy BDSM’er goes back to his everyday life until the next time he calls his Mistress. He may choose to wear his collar and cuffs if he wants. The point is he chooses how much the BDSM part of his life overlaps into his everyday routine. Now, don’t get the idea that this Mistress is any less strict, because she is on the phone. Phone Mistresses can be very demanding about getting their due from their lowly slaves.
Know Your Choices
Finally, there is the fantasy BDSM’er who lives out their fantasies in dungeons that are open to the public. This type is fantasy only in that it is not lifestyle. In other words, these dungeons have Mistresses that dominate any and all who wish to be submissive. A session could last 10 minutes or several hours. The subbie could choose to have the same Mistress during his sessions or choose a different one each time he visits the dungeon. He may develop a more personal relationship with one Mistress and meet her for other sessions, if the rules of the dungeon allow for meetings outside the dungeon environment. Some of the Mistresses in these dungeons are willing to switch and be the submissive, but that may be rare, so make sure and ask the Mistress and do not assume.
So, now you know your choices. Which one do you think you would find the most satisfying? Do you think you would like to have a Mistress to play with on the weekends or maybe one who can whip your ass into shape with just the sound of her voice? Maybe you would like a partner that shows you what’s good for you 24/7? Either way you go, you’re in for some very interesting experiences!